When I was 4 years old in 1944, I found some small girl’s dresses. Pulling those on felt much more than just fun. Later on I started to be very jealous of girls in my neighborhood, who went to school in such nice dresses and even garments. On my 11th I became selected for the Princess role in a play for a jubilee of my boys school. That turned out the most exciting three days in my youth. But after that I had problems to return.
But in my environment and in that timeframe I had to behave myself as a boy and only during days like Halloween and carnival it was tolerated that I showed up (every time again) as a girl. In those days I started to buy small magazines with stories like on this website. My feelings were at that time, that some form of sissification for me would be the only way to give room to my feminine feelings. I read and dreamed about boys, that immediately after coming home from school were ordered by their mother or sister to dress up in an apron and to assist her in the household. Another boy had on Sundays dressed in a big white apron, first to clean the main room, then serve the high tea to all the guests and then of course clean up everything and do the dishes. Other parents even brought up their little son on a fully 24/7 basis totally as a daughter, because their ultimate wish had always been a daughter or because an earlier sister had just died very young. In the Victorian times boys were sometimes trained by an aunt or even sent to girls boarding schools for a complete re-education. When I found a corset I tried many times, when I was alone at home, how that would feel. I regretted very deeply, that my parents had not the slightest intentions at all to pursue any such options. If somebody in those days would have offered me the opportunity to serve on some regular basis as a maid or cleaning lady, such a trap with a lockable Sissy maid dress would not at all have been necessary for me. I would even have loved to offer my full assistance to correctly insert and click that padlock in my neck. But how do you find such a way out ?Fortunately I found a weak point at home. My mother had a cleaning lady for our house every day and another for my father’s shop twice a week and she was clearly very strict in requiring that both women always had to wear adequate aprons during their work. But those women were also quite regularly ill or simply didn’t show up at all anymore and then some time there was nobody to do that work. My mother and my sister hated that work. So on a moment when the need was very high I took my chance and offered my mother to do that work. She had at that moment no alternative, so I was allowed to do it. But of course I decided not without any form of sissification, so I pulled on over my short trousers such a fully obligatory woman’s apron dress with sleeves and a zip in front , filled up two buckets and started to clean the floors. Nobody said anything, so I did that many more times and even throughout one entire summer holiday. In such an apron I could feel at least a bit female, also because that work was considered typically female.
Starting university I met a nice woman with three young children, in a divorce process with her husband. I assisted her with her divorce and we became very good friends. That started with nice weekend evenings going out, but soon I arrived every day directly after college or laboratory work in her home. My offer to assist her in her household was appreciated as coming from heaven by her, because she also had to start working outside. At home she always wears full aprons with sleeves and on her back a huge number of buttons to fit and a big knot in her belt. She had no problems at all when I first wanted to use one of her aprons and later buying some identical extra ones for myself. A little later it even happened sometimes, that she was almost waiting for me with my apron ready in her hands to assist me in putting it on. Basically I had reached now exactly the same level of that boy in two paragraphs before, only he was forced by his mother to put an apron on immediately after returning from school to assist her in her household but in my case everything was fully voluntary. All of a sudden it happened that she was under the shower when the doorbell rang and she asked me to open the door. Of course my apron did not have a padlock in the neck, but nevertheless it is not easy, with all those closed buttons on your back and your girlfriend in the shower, to just throw it away in a second. So I had to open the door still wearing my pure feminine apron and the vacuum cleaner still slowly running down. Of course I felt very nervous that first time, but when you don’t show that, everything remains just normal. That relationship lasted 5 years.
After that I was married for more than 15 years, where I only was allowed to do the dishes in our kitchen with all curtains firmly closed. When she got another friend, I decided to break through. I started epilating my beard and prepared to start living full time as a woman, first by taking an unpaid weekly Friday afternoon plus evening job, in full female condition, to assist a small company with their weekly “open evenings”. My appearance is already sufficiently feminine, so hormones are no real necessity. And my ultimate goal is to be fully seen and accepted by my social environment as a woman. I met (in my new full female condition) the girl friend that I live together with now and we are very happy as two female fish in the water since 1990. I still like wearing aprons often and when you Google “vintage aprons” you get millions of hits, so I feel that the apron is very busy in doing some revival.
Do you realize, that In some way my official name change has a similar irreversible effect as that padlock in the neck of a Sissy maid dress. Just imagine, that when I for some crazy reason some day drive a car as a male and I have to show my drivers license in a routine control to the police, I would have to explain my fully official female first name and photograph! But OK, in a normal dress I have no problem at all to travel also with public transport, but in a padlocked Sissy maid costume that would definitely be dangerous.
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