I’ve written a lot about what I like about cross dressers and why I think cross dressing is a very positive thing altogether. Here I’m going to look at some concerns that can come up with cross dressing and how couples might deal with them. Questions I want to look into include whether crossdressing can be harmful (to the man or his partner) in certain situations and whether it is sometimes an expression of another problem. I’ll separate the issues into points and discuss each point on its own. I’ll stay brief so it all fits into one article so think of this as an introduction.
Let me assert in advance though, that cross dressing by itself can’t possibly be considered harmful or problematic. Issues only ever start to arise in the context of other problems which we will see below.
1) Getting Addicted to Cross Dressing
Basically any kind of experience can become an addiction and it’s no different with cross dressing. In this case, it is the addictive behaviour that is the problem and not the cross dressing. If you think you or your partner has this, then you should deal with it similarly to the way you would go about fixing other problems of this kind. Depending on the circumstances it may or may not be necessary to seek outside help. Recognizing the problem is surely the first and most important step to solving it.
2) Cross Dressing as a Fetish
Fetishes are no longer considered a problem unless they affect you or people close to you negatively. For example, if you have a fixation on silk that is harmless by itself. But if, for example, it’s stronger than your desire to meet a partner and you consequently avoid relationships and stay in solitude, then it is a problem for you and you need to treat it.
Cross Dressing can sometimes hurt your partner if, for example, you are more interested in women’s clothes than in her. I know of cases like this though I believe they are rare. Just as with the silk example, it does need to be dealt with. You also need to think of your partner’s feelings and what affect you’re having on her (or him for that matter). Nobody wants to be an accessory to someone’s fantasy and they will understandably get upset if they find they are. If you’re in that situation it will probably be best to go to a professional for help. Also check out the UK based Beaumont Society Website. They are a great place to start.
3) Perhaps you really are a woman?
If you’re a woman but trapped in a man’s body, then that means you are what they call transsexual. Note that this is very rare and cross dressing is only a small and almost insignificant manifestation of it. If you’re confused about your identity and gender, don’t immediately conclude that you’re transsexual because such confusion is quite common in today’s crazy society. If you really think you might have this, then you should definitely talk to a professional in the field. Again you could start now with the Beaumont Society and take it from there. Don’t expect quick or immediate results even if you feel you have to fix it right now. It can and probably will take years before you start getting anywhere.
4) So Society’s being difficult again, huh?
By far the most common reason for why cross dressing might give you problems has nothing to do with you or your inclinations. It’s about society making problems for you. All those serious issues I talked about above are very rare while this one is almost certainly going to affect you at some point in some way.
In your own home, with your partner and family, you can demand that they deal with it. You have a right to and should stand up for your rights – even if it’s very hard. But outside of your home this becomes much more difficult. In the streets you also have a right (unless you live in a country that forbids cross dressing) to wear clothes of the opposite gender but you will get mixed reactions and you have to decide if you’re willing to deal with them. I have great respect and admiration for those who do and, the more there are, the easier it becomes for society to accept.
This is taken to a whole new level when it takes place in the job environment. Some jobs have a dress code and that is the end of that. You might be able to make a case for sexual discrimination if women are allowed to wear trousers or skirts and men aren’t. This depends on the job you have and on how explicitly the policy is implemented. Better ask a lawyer for your options.
Unfortunately, there is also such a thing as pseudo-tolerance. People are appearing to put up with it but underneath it all, they are giving you a hard time. They might not even know that they’re doing it but it is costing you career chances and promotions. There is no simple way of dealing with this. I suggest you consider keeping cross dressing a secret if you work in a place where it might cause so many problems. I know it’s not right but I’m telling you how things are and not how they should be.
I also suggest looking for employers who are known to be ok with cross dressing. In some areas of work it won’t matter at all, and in others some companies have made a point of being open to this. Now you have a very good reason to work for them. Another alternative is to work for your self and make yourself the employer. That way it is you who makes the rules in town which could include that everyone has to wear a petticoat to work ;)
Please tell me.
This list was surely not complete, but I will update it as new things come to my attention. If you have any experience or knowledge that could contribute to this article, please mention it in the comment section below. I’m very interested in getting this information more complete and nobody knows better than those who have first hand experience.
More on crossdressing here:
The Beauty of crossdressing
How to tell your girlfriend that you crossdress
Top 10 crossdressing Myths
Try Dressing up as a Woman
Adorable Crossdressing Outfits
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